Questions and honest answers

I always get asked questions of friends (and complete strangers for that matter) of how I do it with 5 kids.  By "do it", they usually mean specific things about how I run the house. 
So, for your enjoyment and/or curiosity, here are some common questions I hear most often and some honest answers.  AND no comments, unless they are in agreement, because this is just me and my household.
WARNING:  this may or may not be found in any child rearing book and I am by no means, saying my way is right.
#1 How do you keep up with all the laundry?
people always ask me this.  We have 1 washer and 1 dryer.  I do laundry all day long...really!   Usually 2 loads a day and we use the same towels a few times, along with wear our pajamas more than once!
This is the only way to stay above water.  I do not separate lights and darks.  I throw it all in together.  I wash in cold on quick cyle.  I dry EVERYTHING!  I do not iron (maybe, just maybe for Easter)! 
I usually wait to fold 2 or 3 loads at a time.  So this means a pile of laundry sits on my laundry room floor.
If there are a lot of towels, I fold right away--quick and easy folding right there.
I have a basket for socks.  A big basket for all the kids socks.   If I can't make a match quick, I leave it on the floor and the kids can find their own match.
I do not mind the folding....it is the putting away!  ugh.  I put the clothes away.  You want to know why?  Because my kids would never do it the right way.  I spend a lot of time folding and darn it, I want it to be folded in their  drawers. (alteast for 10 minutes! :))

#2 How do you keep up with all the schedules?
This is a full time job.  I just recently succumbed to using my I-phone calendar.  This way, I can send my calendar to Matt to sync with his.  It is great.  I put everything in my calendar and add it as soon as I can. 
Basically, I look at my week at a glance on Sunday night, but I also am obsessively checking my daily calendar making sure I do not forget anything. 
I love routine and my family runs much smoother with it.  We usually begin to start getting things together 30 minutes before we need to leave to go somewhere.  I hate being rushed and do not like being late.  I know that SOMETHING is usually going to happen about the time we are leaving...be it a dirty diaper, an accident, etc...so this gives me enough leeway in time to cover it. 
I also have been known to get everyone in the car, strapped in and I go back inside to straighten up and finish packing up stuff.  If you have never tried this...it works!


#3 How do you do Homework? 
I try to have the kids do homework pretty much right away when they get home.  I meet them up at the bus and they play some as we walk down to our house and then they get their snack.  They are dying to go play with their friends outside, so it usually works to say that they need to get their homework done first.
We sit at the kitchen table and all do it at the same time.  This way, I can help everyone.  Avery and Gray are usually eating a snack too, so it works for us!


#4  How do you keep your house semi clean?
I am a pretty neat person.  I like order and I do not like clutter.  Clutter and a messy house actually gives me anxiety.  I make the kids take responsibility for keeping their rooms clean and for cleaning up what they play with.  It is not hard to throw your toys back into whatever basket you got it out of.  I have baskets everywhere, which helps.  as long as things are in there baskets when they are done playing, then that is good enough for me.   So my baskets are overflowing with toys and "stuff" but it is contained.
I have a wonderful cleaning lady who comes to help me out once, sometimes twice a month and she is a life saver!  I love her!  She deep cleans for me....think bathrooms and kitchen
So I will surface clean in between and she deep cleans for me.  I LOVE my vacuum, so I vacuum quite a bit and I sweep my kitchen daily.  Basically, like the laundry...I stay on top of it. 
My house is not perfect, but this is one area that I expect my kids to help.  Put your trash in the trash can and take responsibility for your stuff. 
It helps that my husband is pretty neat too!


#5  Do you cook and prepare meals?
I do not like to cook, but I do it.  Are the meals gourmet?  NO!  I usually have a rotation of meals each week.  Spaghetti one night, Taco night, Chicken  in the crock pot, eggs,  and maybe another pasta dish.  We eat out one night a week, usually the weekend.  The other nights, we might just have cereal or pancakes.  When Matt travels, we always pick up a pizza or just eat whatever we can find.
Maybe if I enjoyed cooking, I would put more effort in it, but I cook to save money and keep my kids alive.


#6 How and when do you go to the grocery store and what is your bill?
I average 2 trips to the store a week.  On Mondays, I do my big trip and I have Avery with me. 
By the time Friday rolls around, we need basics for the weekend.  Milk, OJ, bread, fruit.
My first trip is usually $200.00 and my second trip anywhere from $50-80.00
This includes paper items, diapers, etc..


#7  How do you not get overwhelmed?
I do.  I get overwhelmed a lot.  People think that I am this laid back person and I am....if things are going smoothly and going my way.  I get  overwhelmed when "my plan" is not working.
My kids do not overwhelm me as much as situations.   


#8  do you ever get to have alone time?
I have always used my exercise time for my alone time.  I love to run and listen to praise music and just forget about everything.  I am a morning person, so I enjoy being up before everyone else and enjoying the peaceful quiet house or going for a jog in the early morning when there are only a few other people out doing the same thing!
I need alone time and I love the way exercise makes me feel.  
If I really need to get away, I have no problem hopping in the car the minute Matt walks through the door....some days there is no other option.


#9 How do you survive when Matt travels?
Well, we survive!  That is it.  No pressure to cook...we can eat cereal.  If we don't get a bath that night, I don't sweat it.  Structure helps me to get through the longs days and nights!


#10 When do you shop for clothes, shoes, necessities?  I love Target.  I can literally get everything there. 
I also shop on line for the kids clothes quite a bit.  I never pay shipping! 
I also LOVE amazon.com.  It is my best friend at Christmas!

#11  Are you going to have any more kids?
Right now, we feel complete.  I am not sure we ever imagined we would have 5, but now can't imagine it any other way.  We will not have any more biological children---that is pretty much 99.9% sure!
Will we adopt?  Only if God speaks  to us to do it.  We have loved the act of adoption.  We feel so honored and blessed to have experienced it.  We feel that Avery has completed our family, but it is not about how WE feel.  There are so many fatherless in this world, and if we are not called to adopt again, I hope we can be an advocate for the orphan and bring others to step out in faith and do it.
So, the answer is ???????????  I feel we are complete, but the Lord has never ceased to surprise and amaze me with His grace, love and perfect plan. 

So.............any other questions?  I am game!

Where Do I Start?

Lots has happened over the past few weeks.  Our life is pretty crazy around here.  Seems to be moving at lightning speed.  before I know it Friday is here and another week has gone by.

I joke with Matt that it is a full time job keeping up with our schedules.

Avery is making BIG strides everyday.  She is hiding her face less and less and just really doing great at home.  She is also doing better when we go places, but it can still overwhelm her being at really busy events.

She is still learning such much needed social skills with strangers.  She doesn't warm up to people very easily and can be quite rude.  Most people understand.  I am hoping that preschool will help her next year with her social skills.  She is not trusting and feels very threatened by strangers and other kids her age.

I have continued to teach my boot camp classes which I love and teach at the YMCA and a local country club here.  I love being able to work!  I am meeting great people, making a little money, and doing something that I enjoy.  It is such a perfect fit for me with having little ones too.  I feel very blessed.

So, I am getting the swing of this 5 kid thing and am amazed and overwhelmed with gratefulness that the Lord has entrusted Matt and I with 5 healthy children.  Many days, Matt I feel like we are ships in the night, passing one another so consumed with all the happenings of our life, but at the end of the day, we look at our kids and cannot imagine life any other way.  Not perfect by any means, not without chaos and stress, but it is good.  It is what we know and we go with it!

Here are some pictures from the last few weeks. Enjoy!

Wills had all 10 boys on his baseball team over one Friday night for "Team Building" 

We should have called it "Team Wrestling, Team running through the house and Team Rough Housing.  They had so much fun.  We ended the night by watching The Sandlot.

 When we are not at baseball practice, we are at Lacrosse.  We got to experience our first Lacrosse tourney and it was so much fun and fast paced.  We are still learning the game , but have enjoyed watching Owen play.  Avery is a trooper at all the boys' events.

 As is Kate!

 And Gray!

 Daddy coaching Owen

 Owen in the orange shorts

 Sweaty and Tired!

 First game of the season for Wills.

8 yr old Cardinals 3/10/2012

 Getting ready to head to the fields

 First Bat....and a nice hit!  PTL

 2nd Bat...warming up!

 Down the third base line.

On another note, Avery is now out of her casts.  She wore her Spica cast for 3 weeks and her long leg casts for 3 weeks.  We went to the Doctor on Wednesday to have her casts removed.  I had envisioned this amazing day of taking off the casts and her so happy and everything to be wonderful AND it was complete opposite.  It was actually a very difficult day!  When the casts came off I, nor Avery were prepared for the huge scar and scab right down the center of her knees, as well as how stiff and "on fire" Avery's little legs would be.  She was in a lot of pain.  I mean screaming crying pain.  I was a nervous wreck staring at her little knees.  Oh, it was so sad and my heart hurt for Avery.  She has been through so much.

The Dr. put Knee immobilizers on her legs and she is to wear them all the time, except to bathe.  We start therapy in a week and go from there.  The idea is to get her walking in her braces and eventually on her own!

Here are some pictures of her poor knees and her new bracings.

 Finally, last Thursday I took Gray and Avery to the Zoo on a beautiful day.  We meet some good friends and the boys had a blase. 

I just love this picture.  It represents each child's personality so well.

Tid bits

Basketball over......team party at Yogurt Twist below!

onto baseball and lacrosse and gymnastics~

whew!

GONE with the BODY CAST

 Onto Long Leg casts!

Matt's second job, "Dad of a boy scout" is still going on!

 dads and their sons had to bring a cake to the banquet...we were not aware that it was a contest to see who could make the most amazing cake, but you know what they still won an award....

MOST COLORFUL!  We got a good laugh out of that one.

 If you have kept up with my posts, you know how much I L-O-V-E Birmingham Children's Theatre....

we went to see The Little Engine that Could .  Very cute and so fun!

Here is Kate with a few of the characters.

 Finally, Avery has come so far in the last 6 months.  Today I got this great picture of these two buddies/

This was taken right before Gray grabbed her head and pushed her! 

Sibling Rivalry!  Don't feel too bad for sweet little Avery.  Trust me, this girl can hold her own.

So, we have been enjoying our mild winter by spending lots of time playing outside.

Between Lacrosse 3 times a week and Baseball 2 times/week, and Gymnastics, we are in the car quite a bit.

I was able to compete in the Mercedes half Marathon this year.  This race is a lot of fun because it is local and it is so well out together.  Each year it grows!  This is my 3rd time to finish it and I was so glad I got to do it.  The kids were able to track my progress on-line, so that was fun for them.

My time was pretty good considering I really didn't train that hard for it.  I think I will take that approach more often!

This past week, we also had to put our beloved dog, Sampson to sleep.  Sampson drove me crazy a lot of the time, but he was a great, sweet dog that has been part of our family since Matt and I got engaged.  I feel like I have lost a family member.  It was hard to let him go.  The kids were all ok, he has been going down hill for a while now, but Kate really got upset.  Matt and I had to laugh over this because I am not sure she had ever even petted Sampson.  After Owen got attacked by a dog, she has not been a "dog person". 

Nonetheless, she bawled and bawled.  It was so sweet.  She just has a sweet compassionate heart.

I am not sure how life will be without a dog.  I am not ready to tackle a puppy quite yet...but am thinking my birthday (july) might be fun!  Any thoughts on a good breed....and please don't say any kind of "doodle" .  I do not like poodles. 

On the horizon, is a much needed girls trip for ME! hip hip hooray!

 and Spring Break with the family.

We are also counting down 3 more weeks until we can get this cast off.

Lots of laughs, lots of chaos, lots of screams, lots of fighting, lots of laundry, lots of messes....

but lots of love here!

One Week

I can't believe we are a 1 week post surgery!  We have had quite a lot of challenging things come our way, but so thankful that through prayer and faith we are where we are and persevering through, because....well, what else can you do?
Sunday night I put sweet Avery to bed, knowing that when we woke her up the next morning at 6:00, to head down to Children's Hospital, we were changing her life and ours as well.  5 1/2 short months ago we brought our little girl home, well aware that we would be dealing with some orthopedic issues that would need to be addressed.  Her referral, from China, at age 9 months stated that she did not have knee caps.  After talking with many doctors and specialists and spending lots of time in prayer, we knew she was ours and we needed her home. 
Upon arriving back home, we spent 5 months doing physical therapy; 2, sometimes 3 times a week,  to see where we could get without doing any invasive surgery quite yet.  She got stronger.  Avery learned how to push a walker and even took a few steps on her own, but it was all very unconventional and awkward.  She did not have the strength or ability to do anymore.  After going through an MRI in December, we discovered that she did have a patella, it was just shifted to the side of her knee.  In the wrong position on both knees.  Her tendons would need lengthening and she would need surgery to put the patellas in their proper position.
The rest was a no brainer.  We trusted our Doctor.  We set the surgery for the end of January, in hopes to get one more month of bonding before we put her through the whole process of surgery and casting.
The morning of surgery we arrive and the sadness I felt for this poor little girl weighed on my heart so heavily.  Hasn't she been through enough?  Abandoned at birth, labeled special needs, institutionalized!  But, the God of this universe, the creator of all things, sought her out and burdened our hearts for the orphan.  I can only hold onto my faith that God is up to some amazing things with our little Avery.  He placed her with loving foster women 4 months before we got her, and gave her a spirited and determined personality to deal with her "need".   God IS using her to change our family, to change me and to change all she meets.

That morning, as I walked her back to the red line, (where you have to pass your child off to the nurses for surgery)...I held back so many tears.  I knew this was what was best for her.  I knew we had to do it!  But she wouldn't be able to understand and that broke my heart.
After 3 hours of surgery, Matt and I were brought to our room and shortly after they brought her in.  To our surprise the cast was clear up to her armpits!  A Spica cast is what they call it.  Oh.....it is big.  It is heavy.  It is awkward!  How was I going to do this?  I have 4 other very needy young kids at home.  She can't sit up!  She is 22 months and has to lay there for 5-6 weeks.  I kept asking the nurses what I was suppose to do all day with her?  how would I feed her? Clean her? Carry her? Hug her?
Shortly after, I asked if they could take her off the IV for a few minutes so that I could hold her.  I needed to hold my baby and something inside me told me she needed to be held.  I picked her up (all 50 lbs) and she laid her head on my shoulder and we walked the halls.  My arms got tired, but I didn't want to put her down...I wanted her to feel that skin to skin.  To know that we did not, and will not abandon her!   We weren't going anywhere.  Mommy and Daddy were here!
A week has past by slowly, but I have learned so much from her.  She is such a trooper.  We are obviously changing how we do a few things.  Is it easy?  No!  But, it is temporary.  We know that she will walk....she will run!  I think the day it happens I will weep many tears for her and for us!  Tears of joy and tears of gratitude that the Lord has walked with us through this journey.   I think back to this time last year.  A little girl, Fu leMei, in a remote area of China, lying in her crib most of the day, without a family.  No doubt she would probably never get the surgery she needed had we not listened and obeyed what God had clearly called us to do.  Obedience that was not easy in many ways, but God is always faithful when we listen to His call , and we believe that God didn't call us to save Avery....He chose Avery to change US!
Here are some pictures from the morning of the surgery and post op!

waiting to head back!

 trying to keep her happy...she was NOT!

 I finally got to hold her!

 I am strong, but this is HEAVY!

 Nana and Grandad visit

 Signing the cast

It's Circus Time!

Every January, the only thing I have to look forward to is the circus.  Sad isn't it?  There are 2 reasons why I look forward to this event.
1.  It always is at the end of the month....meaning I actually made it through the most miserable month of the year.
2.  Matt's company gives us free tickets to the circus complete with amazing seats AND tickets to the pre-circus party, complete with free food, face paining, jumpys, clown, dancing, etc...
Matt was off on an all guys ski trip....(I am not as nice as you think...I have a girl's trip in the works for March!), so my baby sister, Morgan came over to go with us.  We took Avery to Matt's parents because I knew clowns and lots of people probably wouldn't be a good mix for her, but everyone else got to go!
This was the first year that we stayed the entire REALLY LOOOOONNNNNGGGG time!  Wills insisted that he has never stayed the whole circus and everyone was doing relatively well being up so late that we just stayed.  We pulled back in our driveway at 11:10 that night.
And everyone slept in until 11 the next day! 
Ha.....not really.  Up as usual but it was worth it.

Sorry about the picture quality.  And the last one was a self taken picture by my 5 year old!

Hanging Around

Lacrosse anyone?  Owen has been ready to play Lacrosse for over a year now, thanks to the older "cool" neighbors down the street that are always in there yard practicing.  We decided that it may be a good fit for him after all because it is a rough sport and to be quite honest, I think Owen feels the need to just hit somebody with a stick.  He is very aggressive in basketball, so if we channel that to a sport that is more of a contact sport than we might have a winner.  The kid is fearless. 

Just the other day, Wills came running inside saying "Mom, Mom, Owen needs help.  He is in a tree and can't get down".

Being the calm mother of boys that I am, I finished up cleaning the kitchen and slowly made my way to the backyard.  There we find Owen hanging , by his jacket, from a tree branch 5 feet off the ground.  He  supposedly fell but his (brand new) jacket caught a limb and he was hanging there from it.  (it was like in the cartoons!!!)  He was a little shook up, especially because his jacket was ripped and his pocket knife fell out, but quickly forgot because I have seen him climbing many trees since!

Here is my little guy in his lacrosse gear, that carriers a very high price tag---might I add!  Ouch!

 One of Avery's favorite things to do is to read books....She loves to be read to!

I finally took her to the Library and she loved it.  I checked out lots of books in preparation for her surgery.

 Sisters!

She also loves to smile for the camera!

I have said it before by Kate really is such a wonderful big sister.

 Gray is trying really really hard to be a good big brother, but it is so hard when you are 3!

 Brothers!  13 months apart and completely different personalities!

They are as Opposite as opposite can get!

 We also spent a good portion of our Sunday at Boy scouts Pine derby race!

I must say I was ready to stop the pine derby races after hour 2, but the boys had fun with it!

The big boys mostly (dads)

Matt and I were too busy chasing around Gray and Avery and keeping Wills and Kate happy to really watch any of it.

Owen's car is the blue one.  It was totally upstaged by all the other cars.

Clearly we missed the memo to spend hours and hours on it.

 If you are dying to know who won this race....Owen came in 3rd!

Hike, Dance, and Play

We have had some really good, fun family times lately.  With 5 kids, things get so busy that finding time to plan something for the whole family to do together is far and few between lately.  With basketball, cheer leading, school, work, therapy, etc...life is flying by!
Big shout out to MLK because not only am I able to teach my kids about equality and how God loves each one of us, (no matter our skin color, shape or size),  his legacy also allows for my very hard working husband to take a much needed day off and doggone it.....I was going to make him take it!
We loaded up the car with our bikes, scooters, backpack for Avery, picnic lunch and then piled the kids in!
Matt was a little worried because it was overcast and sprinkling, but my IPhone said...sunny skies, so we were off plus, if I get my mind on something, are doing it!
We headed to the most amazing state park that is practically right in our backyard.  My Bham peeps, take advantage of Oak Mt State park! It is a hidden treasure.
We drove back to a trail that would lead us to Peavine Falls and we hiked it as a family.  I have so many great memories of me and my sisters hiking with my dad.  There is something about being outside where the kids can run free, scream as loud as they want and explore, that makes me want to take family hikes weekly.
The kids had a blast.  We ate a hearty lunch of PBandJs and went to the trail to ride bikes along the lake.  It was so fun to not worry about cars, and the kids just went straight along the trail with no stopping or turning around.  We topped a fun family day off with Yogurt Twist ---which is our fave treat spot lately.
Now I want one!

Wills is in the news these past weeks at our house.  He got invited to a par...tay....seriously, it was a Party with a capital P.  It was a girl in his class and Wills wasn't too thrilled to go, but once he got there and saw the DJ and dance floor (yes, he is 8) he was rolling with the homies.  At one point, and I am not kidding....he was in the middle of the dance floor, with a circle formed around him, of his classmates (and their parents) clapping and cheering as he showed off his very interesting dance moves.  I have video, but I am honestly too embarrassed to put it on here.  He wouldn't be embarrassed.  In fact, he has watched the 3 minute long clip of him dancing many times and is quite proud.  I will add that all his moves are defiantly from his Daddy!
Later on in the week, he toned it down for square dancing at school.  He promenaded and do se do ed his partner so and clapped and stomped , not one bit traumatized by the fact that he was square dancing with a girl.  It really was cute to watch! 
Owen has already told me that he will NOT be square dancing next year.  He will be sick or in his words "maybe we can just do school at home in January"

 I took Avery and Gray to McWane Science Center and they had so much fun.  I knew Avery would love the water station and she stayed there most of the time.  She had blast!  look at her face!

Surgery is on the horizon for Avery.  It is going to be quite the journey.  My heart breaks thinking of all she will have to go through, after already been through so much!  She is a strong little girl though.

Please keep her and our family in your prayers as we prepare for what is sure to be a challenging few months ahead!