One Week

I can't believe we are a 1 week post surgery!  We have had quite a lot of challenging things come our way, but so thankful that through prayer and faith we are where we are and persevering through, because....well, what else can you do?
Sunday night I put sweet Avery to bed, knowing that when we woke her up the next morning at 6:00, to head down to Children's Hospital, we were changing her life and ours as well.  5 1/2 short months ago we brought our little girl home, well aware that we would be dealing with some orthopedic issues that would need to be addressed.  Her referral, from China, at age 9 months stated that she did not have knee caps.  After talking with many doctors and specialists and spending lots of time in prayer, we knew she was ours and we needed her home. 
Upon arriving back home, we spent 5 months doing physical therapy; 2, sometimes 3 times a week,  to see where we could get without doing any invasive surgery quite yet.  She got stronger.  Avery learned how to push a walker and even took a few steps on her own, but it was all very unconventional and awkward.  She did not have the strength or ability to do anymore.  After going through an MRI in December, we discovered that she did have a patella, it was just shifted to the side of her knee.  In the wrong position on both knees.  Her tendons would need lengthening and she would need surgery to put the patellas in their proper position.
The rest was a no brainer.  We trusted our Doctor.  We set the surgery for the end of January, in hopes to get one more month of bonding before we put her through the whole process of surgery and casting.
The morning of surgery we arrive and the sadness I felt for this poor little girl weighed on my heart so heavily.  Hasn't she been through enough?  Abandoned at birth, labeled special needs, institutionalized!  But, the God of this universe, the creator of all things, sought her out and burdened our hearts for the orphan.  I can only hold onto my faith that God is up to some amazing things with our little Avery.  He placed her with loving foster women 4 months before we got her, and gave her a spirited and determined personality to deal with her "need".   God IS using her to change our family, to change me and to change all she meets.

That morning, as I walked her back to the red line, (where you have to pass your child off to the nurses for surgery)...I held back so many tears.  I knew this was what was best for her.  I knew we had to do it!  But she wouldn't be able to understand and that broke my heart.
After 3 hours of surgery, Matt and I were brought to our room and shortly after they brought her in.  To our surprise the cast was clear up to her armpits!  A Spica cast is what they call it.  Oh.....it is big.  It is heavy.  It is awkward!  How was I going to do this?  I have 4 other very needy young kids at home.  She can't sit up!  She is 22 months and has to lay there for 5-6 weeks.  I kept asking the nurses what I was suppose to do all day with her?  how would I feed her? Clean her? Carry her? Hug her?
Shortly after, I asked if they could take her off the IV for a few minutes so that I could hold her.  I needed to hold my baby and something inside me told me she needed to be held.  I picked her up (all 50 lbs) and she laid her head on my shoulder and we walked the halls.  My arms got tired, but I didn't want to put her down...I wanted her to feel that skin to skin.  To know that we did not, and will not abandon her!   We weren't going anywhere.  Mommy and Daddy were here!
A week has past by slowly, but I have learned so much from her.  She is such a trooper.  We are obviously changing how we do a few things.  Is it easy?  No!  But, it is temporary.  We know that she will walk....she will run!  I think the day it happens I will weep many tears for her and for us!  Tears of joy and tears of gratitude that the Lord has walked with us through this journey.   I think back to this time last year.  A little girl, Fu leMei, in a remote area of China, lying in her crib most of the day, without a family.  No doubt she would probably never get the surgery she needed had we not listened and obeyed what God had clearly called us to do.  Obedience that was not easy in many ways, but God is always faithful when we listen to His call , and we believe that God didn't call us to save Avery....He chose Avery to change US!
Here are some pictures from the morning of the surgery and post op!

waiting to head back!

 trying to keep her happy...she was NOT!

 I finally got to hold her!

 I am strong, but this is HEAVY!

 Nana and Grandad visit

 Signing the cast