Big Families

I always knew I would have a lot of kids.  I never really thought about the specific number growing up, but I guess I thought 5 was doable as I grew up in a family of five girls. 
Matt was from a family of 2 boys, and if I had to guess probably always thought 2 was enough!  So I guess we met in the middle and now we have 5!
Having lots of kids comes with challenges.  I have compiled a list of the pros and cons of big families. 
Here are just a few facts if you are thinking about having lots of kids:

• You will never sleep again.  Seriously.  I am hopeful that if my calculations are correct, I will get a full 8 hours of solid uninterrupted sleep somewhere in my 60's.
• You will never have alone time with your spouse.  Without getting too graphic,  you will need to get creative and sneak around like teenagers to find any alone time.
• Your bed is not your own.  At any given moment, someone is in my bed.  Even in the smack middle of the afternoon, pillows are strewn across the room and someone is under my covers.
• You will always be out of food.  I can go to the store on Monday and doggone it if I need to go to the store by Tuesday.  This is especially true if I buy something I do not normally buy.   They are like vultures.
• Be prepared to not sit down and eat a meal in peace or fully taste a meal again.  This could be a positive.  By the time I cook for my family and serve them, and get all their needs met I am not even hungry anymore.  I usually end up eating the leftover spaghetti off one of  my kids plates because I am too exhausted to fix myself one.
• The laundry owns me.  Sometime when I walk into my bathroom and see that the basket is full again, I want to cry.  I think about folding laundry a lot.  Sometimes when I cant sleep, I get to fold laundry on the couch.  It is always beating me down. 
• Summer is great!!  Lets go...shorts, shirt, flip flops!   Winter is dreadful....matching socks, gloves, hats, jackets that actually fit, layer (which means more clothes to wash).
• Going anywhere together is loud and obnoxious.  Try taking 5 to the dentist, To Walmart, Publix, the Doctor,  or to swing by work real quick.  There is nothing quiet about 5 kids.  Nothing!  This is why, if and when we go out to eat, we go to Mexican!
• Road Trips are now twice as long.  Bathroom stops are never quick and are never few on a road trip.
• You will never have control of the TV again.  Thankfully I do not watch TV, but I couldn't if I wanted to. 
• You will never read again.  The last book I completed was only because Matt and I went on vacation and I had uninterrupted reading time.  The next book I read will be on my next vacation.
• You will never have money.  Field trips, Kona Ice, book fair money, hat day, pajama day, fundraising day.  I am always broke!
• Showering with a crowd watching is the new norm, as is using the restroom.  It never fails that if I step foot in the shower or the bathroom someone will need me.  This also can go along with  my 2nd point of alone time with your spouse.
• You will never be on time anywhere again for the rest of your life.  I like to blame this on the "I have 5 kids" line.  You will be excused.
• Your Doctor and Dentist love you!  Why?  3 copays in one week?  Jackpot!  3 of your kids need braces and one needs a spacer?  Gold mine!
• Your insurance company?  Not so much love going on there.
• Your will not drive a cool car.  Just get over it.  You might as well sport some mom jeans while you are at it.  You are not cool!  No matter how good you think you look when leaving the house, jump behind the wheel of a minivan, suburban or church van and your coolness factor has plummeted.
• You will listen to kids music even while driving alone.  You will also know the words to the lamest song ever written that come on pop radio.  It is so bad right now. 
• My intelligence level has dramatically declined, although my elementary math and language skills have become quite impressive.
• Although you may not sleep hours at a time at night, you become very unique as to when you do sleep.  Standing up?  Sure!  At a stoplight?  Maybe for a quick second.  In carpool?  Why not!

  I am not trying to discourage anyone from having lots of kids.  It is great, you should totally do it.  I just want to provide my friends out there with as much information as possible so you are equipped with all the knowledge you need as to what lies ahead. 

One thing I can say, speaking from experience, is that big families are fun and  so worth it, even with a list as long as mine!